Here’s a post about what Guilt Tripping by Parents can sound like.
Now, this is tricky because as much as I want to condense and shorten a complex topic, I know that there are plenty of minefields to navigate because this is a sensitive and traumatic issue.
What is guilt-tripping? It’s when someone, in order to get you to do what they want you to do, exploits your feelings of guilt, shame, and conscience.
Sadly, this is the default mode of communication for a lot of parents, either because they had it done to them, or because they’ve found it to be a more effective way of asking children to do things.
And unfortunately, guilt-tripping is an effective way to get children to do things because children have an innate desire to please their parents.
Yet this has many negative side effects, like producing a lifelong sense of guilt and people-pleasing in their children, or distrust and rebelliousness when the child realizes that they are being manipulated.
Either way, clear communication, and explanations are a much better way to communicate guilt-tripping.
Points are from Very Well Family (Why using guilt trips is an effective parenting strategy), Psychology Today (The high price of parental guilt trips), and A Fine Parent (The dark side of guilt-tripping kids)!
8 Signs of Guilt Tripping Parents
Here are 8 Signs of Guilt Tripping Parents
1. Ungrateful:
“You never help out around the house and yet you want to go to the party? How can you be so ungrateful?”
2. Food, Water Shelter:
“I give you food, water shelter, I pay the bills, yet you don’t listen to what I say? Other children don’t even have anything, what more do you want from me?”
3. unlike You:
“Your brother calls me every day, unlike you. | think it’s obvious who cares about me more.”
4. Back in my day:
“Back in my day, it used to be so much harder. I could’ve punished you and hit you, but I didn’t. Guess that’s why kids these days are so ill-disciplined.”
5. I raised you:
“I raised you and gave you all you needed, yet you can’t be bothered to visit me? Whatever happened to family?”
6. Do you hate me?
“You’re leaving so quickly? Do you hate me? Spend some more time with me if you’re a good child.”
7. Punish:
“No, I’m really not upset. I just think that I raised you better than this. To punish you, I’m not going to talk to you from now on.
(The silent treatment)
8. Reputation:
“If you loved me, you would have done better on your test. Now you’re just ruining my reputation as a parent.”
Conclusion:
Don’t get me wrong — children should definitely feel guilt if they’ve done something genuinely wrong. However, toxic guilt is when a parent gets a child to do something by exploiting their desire to please their parents.
This often backfires when the child rebels or has a lifelong sense of self-guilt. If you, as a parent, want your child to do something, tell them and clearly explain why instead of using guilt.
Note:
So in This Post, Guilt Tripping by Parents You Need to Know What other points can you think of/have experienced? Let me know in the comments.
If you found this helpful or feel free to share your experience if you can relate to these points and if you are comfortable share
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